From Overwhelm to Flow: The Art of Cooking in the Moment
The Problem Isn’t Knowing What to Do—It’s Doing What You Know
There was a time when I thought I needed to absorb everything. I was addicted to the idea of mastery—learning every technique, every philosophy, collecting bits of knowledge like trophies.
I believed that if I could just learn more, somehow, things would click into place. But they didn’t. Instead, I felt stuck, overwhelmed by my own inaction, despite everything I knew.
The guilt followed closely behind.
Why couldn’t I change?
Why did it seem like I was always a step behind, watching others achieve what I couldn't?
That’s when I began looking deeper—into my brain, into the ways I functioned that seemed different from others.
Organizing, prioritizing, managing time... these weren’t just personal struggles. They were ingrained patterns that felt impossible to overcome through sheer will.
But I also believed in epigenetics. I believed in the power we have to change our biology by changing our environment, both inside and out.
My brain, my habits—they didn’t have to define me.
The mind is simply where our attention goes, and if I could learn to master my attention, everything else would follow.
Control and Flow: From the Kitchen to Life
In the professional kitchen, I found a system that worked. I thrived on structure: prepping for service, managing a team, hitting deadlines, delegating tasks.
There’s a flow that happens in that environment, an intense focus that pulls you into the present moment. The world fades, and all that matters is the task in front of you. That hyperfocus? It’s where I excelled.
But outside of the kitchen, in the everyday world, it was a struggle to replicate. It’s one thing to enter that state when you’re cooking for 200 people or at the pass during a busy service under pressure. It’s another to find that flow when you're alone at home, cooking dinner for yourself and your partner.
Without that external pressure, the focus didn’t come as easily. I was still distracted, overwhelmed by the emotions and endless thoughts running through my mind.
Then, on my reading time I came across a piece by Russell A. Barkley: “You need to work with your brain, not against it.”
That simple phrase shifted my entire perspective.
I realized that control was an illusion—it wasn’t about forcing myself to be different, but rather about aligning my systems with the way I naturally function. I had to stop fighting against my own mind.
Letting Go of Control: Cooking in the Moment
Here’s where cooking became more than just a task—it became a meditation. I had my structure, yes, but I needed to let go of perfectionism, to allow space for the process to unfold organically.
The kitchen became my playground, where I could experiment, fail, and adjust without pressure. In doing so, I tapped into something deeper—a state of being where attention flowed effortlessly.
And there’s science behind this. When we shift our focus inward and operate from a place of calm, our brain waves move from the fast, reactive beta state into the more relaxed alpha state.
This is where creativity thrives. It’s the sweet spot where our thoughts quiet down, and we become more connected to the present moment.
In the alpha state, the brain's compartments that usually work separately begin to communicate more effectively. Coherence is achieved, and the chaos inside starts to settle.
This shift isn’t just psychological—it’s biological. When we allow ourselves to relax into the process, the brain stops working in survival mode. Instead, it synchronizes, creating a flow where ideas and actions come together seamlessly.
The Freedom of Not Knowing
The key to it all? Letting go of the need to control everything.
When we try to control every outcome, we’re activating the part of the brain that’s in constant survival mode, endlessly shifting between different stimuli. But when we relax and trust the process, something amazing happens.
We enter the unknown—the space where creativity and intuition thrive. In the kitchen, this means cooking in the moment—adjusting flavors, playing with textures, and allowing the dish to evolve naturally.
In life, it’s the same. It’s about embracing the unknown, trusting that you don’t have to have every answer, and understanding that real growth happens when you release control.
This is where the coherence of brain waves comes in. By stepping away from narrow focus and allowing our attention to flow freely, we stop activating those reactive, stress-driven states.
Instead, we cultivate a state of coherence—where the mind, body, and emotions come into alignment, and our energy shifts from disorder to order.
Just cook, smell, touch the ingredients, mesmerise watching the soup bubbling up. Chop and slice endlessly if that's your peace so let it be.
Hope this resonates with some of you, and it helps somehow
Thanks for reading
WIth Gratitude
Tomaso